THE SAGA OF KAREN'S BACK

Seven years ago I managed to give myself a severe compression fracture of the L3 vertebrae while having a little winter fun with my son. The fracture did heal, but it left me with what they call scoliosis.
What this means is that my spine is now curved. It stabilized at 11%. Apparently when I first injured myself it was at 19%, so I did get quite a lot of improvement. My Dr. told me that 14% curvature would have qualified me to collect disability for life. Since I am able to function fairly well at 11%, I spend my time thanking my lucky stars that I am *not* disabled. But I am rarely free of pain, either. Still, given the alternatives, I feel extremely fortunate.
Fast forward to Saturday, January 24, 2009 - seven years and two weeks to the day after my initial accident. I am in Nebraska, 8 hours driving time from my home, and still 2 hours away from the family function we've chosen to attend. I think everything's fine. Take a load of suitcases out to the car and head back towards the motel room to collect the dog, dropping my card key in the process. I bend over to pick it up, and my life changes again as I gasp "I think I just broke my back all over again".
We attended the family function later that day only thanks to the fact that I always have pain killers on my person. I do not like to take them, generally I just ignore the pain, but there are still times when nothing will do but narcotics.
All day Sunday we spent driving home in a winter blizzard from Central Nebraska to Western Colorado over two mountain passes. What fun! Let's make the trip even longer than the normal ten hours! At least the pass was open again by the time we got to it. Could have been worse, I have been trapped on I-70 with the pass closed more times than I can count.
I managed to get an appointment with an orthopedist on Tuesday morning for spinal xrays and so on. He was able to reassure me that in fact, my spine was in the same condition that it has been for the last seven years. Then he told me that seven years of strain on the surrounding ligaments and discs caused by the curvature most likely resulted in me having torn something in the surrounding area, and that only an MRI could really tell us what. Since my out of pocket expense for that test is over $1000, we elected to skip it in favor of just treating the symptoms. He put me on steroids for the inflammation, Valium for the spasms, and demerol for the pain. He had me come back in one week, on February 3, and I was able to report about a 50% improvement then. At that time it was decided that gentle massage and electrical muscle stimulation might greatly speed up the healing process. At the words physical therapy I got really tense, however. All too well do I remember the months of physical therapy that followed my original fracture... None of it was fun and I knew that I wasn't yet ready for that again! Not when I could barely even make it through half the day without narcotics yet. But she explained that I would be doing absolutely no exercising, it was all about the massage and relaxation so that the muscles could allow themselves to realign properly. Much later, she explained, traditional physical therapy would then be used to help to ensure that they would stay in place through strengthening my core to prevent future incidents. This all sounded great, so I headed upstairs to the PT place with a written order and managed to get an appointment for Thursday, February 5.

I hate most physical therapists! I swear, (the ones I have run into), think they know more than the doctors do. I showed up expecting one of the first massages of my life. I expected to feel better when I left than when I arrived. Instead, this woman decided to do whatever *she* felt was right, and for the next 40 minutes had me contracting back muscles in turn while she had one thumb jammed in my pelvis and the other one jammed in my back. She then made me perform several different stretching exercises until I was literally in tears.
Now, when I broke my back, I WALKED INTO THE E.R. under my own power and they later told me that no one had ever done that before, and that they would have been nicer to me (not made me walk around and climb on and off treatment and xray tables, etc.) had they realized I was so severely injured, but that I was apparently way too tough for my own good. So, I am hardly what one would call a wimp!
At that point, I lost it and informed her that my Dr. had informed me I would not need to do anything like this before she considered me healed, and that I was only here for massage. She then said that she doubted I was even a good candidate for massage, "if you are all this sensitive" (did everything but roll her bitch eyes at me while saying it) but that she would hook me up to the TENS electrodes now, and that I could come back next time and after 30 more minutes of physical therapy I would be allowed 30 minutes of massage. Can you even believe that????
I decided to book those next appointments because I know I need help of some kind, any kind, if I am to return to my somewhat normal former existence, and I knew I could always cancel if I thought I should, once I had some time to reflect. My doctor wanted me in there for massage 2-3 times per week for the next month, after which I go back for a follow-up appointment and would then presumably start more traditional therapy. Get this - this place then told me they couldn't get me in again FOR EIGHT FREAKKIN DAYS.
I booked the appointments, drove home still in tears, went to bed in more pain than I had been in for days, woke up in about the same condition, and thought things over until noon, when I called my doctor to request a return call, then called the the Therapy From Hell place to cancel the upcoming appointments.
When I told my doc what happened, she practically went into orbit - a woman after my own heart! - saying things like 'she did WHAT? What the HELL? Do they think I write up these orders for my own health? Don't they even READ them? The LAST THING I wanted you to do was exercise those muscles right now' and so on. Talk about feeling vindicated! She said she would be calling Therapy From Hell personally as soon as we hung up. So I have a feeling I won't get a bill for the BS appointment - and I will not pay any portion of it if they *are* dumb enough to send it in to my insurance company. Then she called the other place in town who does PT and spoke personally to them to make sure they understood exactly what I did and did not need, and would expedite getting me started. Whoo Hoo, sounds great.

Later that day the patient coordinator from Place 2 phoned to say that they had indeed spoken, and could he call me back on Monday morning to get us started on the necesary red tape to get me going as a patient. Monday at 2PM he finally called and faxed me 4 pages of paperwork, which I filled out and faxed back in under 30 minutes. TWENTY SIX+ HOURS LATER he finally called me to make some appointments - and guess what - he didn't have a thing before NEXT MONDAY February 16th. At which point I began to cry again (geez! I never do that!) and told him that I that would take it, but at this rate, we were probably completely missing the window of opportunity to actually do me any good with the whole massage thing, and since I have to pay for most of this treatment out of pocket, I could and should probably just go book a massage at a spa!
This morning, Wed. the 11th, he phoned to say he could fit me in at 1:50 this afternoon! He'd had a cancellation and decided I needed it most. So - SOMETHING finally went RIGHT - Hurrah!
I am now praying that this is the right fit, and I am not spending money that I don't have, just to be treated like a crybaby whiner yet again. (i get enough of that at home, after all!)
If you want to send some of your own white light, prayers, good vibes, or whatever you choose to call it, please feel free.... I really do need to stop crying soon, or I won't even recognize myself.
Hopefully, that explains the long time between posts here on this new blog. It's been all I can do just to issue W2s on time and make all my other accounting deadlines for two the companies I run from home. Run... what a funny word, since I do a lot of it from flat on my back via the laptop! I do hate to be whiner, and I hate to post things that are negative, but it was past time for an explanation, I decided, and "it is what it is".
Hopefully my next post will sound more like my typically optimistic self, and won't be made from a jail cell because I was arrested for assault and battery on a physical therapist!